Ray and i had a stroll through Norfol Park on Wednesday before going to see The Orphanage at the Showroom. We saw this little chap on our way out of the Park.

I’ve not blogged in awhile…i’ve been very busy with my new job (now four months in), and college. Most evenings i get home and flomp, utterly tired out from the day - both physically and mentally. I enjoy the job, and seem to be good at it. Considering i’ve spent my entire life hiding from figures i find it amusing that i work with them now (this is by accident)…i’m glad i’ve got this chance to slay that dragon of fear i’ve always had. Numbers used to make me cry very easily. Well, not the numbers themselves, but all of the emotional baggage i have with numbers. They have an ability to make me feel 7 years old all over again. Although my day is spent processing numbers, these numbers represent homes, and people.

Numbers can mean so many different things.

Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of my Nan’s death. Another number loaded with emotion. On one level i can’t believe 10 years has gone by, it still feels so fresh and raw. I can still hear the nurse phoning me. I was working on the other side of London at the time and I’d just got in from work after an hour and 3/4 commute. I didn’t believe what i was being told - i did truely believe she was either lying or had got it wrong. Nan was the picture of health a few days before. She might have been 102, but she wasn’t ill. I kind of thought she would go on for ever. The person i was living with at the time drove me over to the hosptial as i tried to get through to my two sisters to give them the news. Sadly, the nurse was right.

Nan was a grandma to me, a friend, and a mum rolled into one beautiful person. I tell myself of course it hurts that she has gone, how could such a huge part of my life be gone and i not hurt? Ten years on i’m kind of used to her not being here ( i would love to tell her all about the politics course i’m doing, and i know she’d be proud of me working in social housing…then there is Ray, he never met this person who nurtured me and taught me to fight social injustice…i really wish Ray had met her…although they would have made a good team at teasing me). The pain i’ve realised will probably never go, and that is sometimes hard to deal with.

Today at work people noticed i wasn’t my usual self, and when asked what was up my answer was “life”, because life is bitter sweet. Without the hardships and the pain, we wouldn’t appreciate the good stuff. I was grateful for deadlines today which meant i could just immerse myself in numbers, and hide in them.

Thank you Mudita for sharing this video, i thought it was only my cat who behaved like this.

An opportunity to hear about a socially engaged spirituality from two respected Pureland Buddhist teachers with the Amida Trust

Thursday 8th November, 6.30 – 9.00pm
at
The Quaker Meeting House,
10 St James Street, Sheffield, S1 2EW

Spirituality + Arts + Social Action + Buddhist Practice + Chaplaincy + Buddhist Psychology + Healing + Writing + Peacework + Interfaith + Writing + Aid + Research + Volunteering + Groupwork

This is a free event, all welcome!
Hosted by Amida Sheffield: Tel 0114 272 4290

I’ve deactivated my acocunt on Facebook. I posted on my fun wall there about the company’s refusal to remove pro-anorexia sites, and part of the text was removed, and not by me. If people were using the site for pro-suicide or pro-paeodophilia then i wonder if that would be okay too? For some information as to why i think promoting anorexia is a bad idea click here.

Friday 19th October 2007

From the Sheffield Star, writen by Amy Burns:

The woman, a representative from the Karen Community Association, addressed the full council after handing them a petition signed by 95 people.

The petition was signed in support of the people of Burma who have been subjected to violence following weeks of peaceful protest against military rule.

Sheffield is one of two ‘host countries’ who welcomed Burmese refugees under the United Nations Gateway programme and as a result is home to one of the largest groups of Burmese exiles in the UK.

The spokesman for the Karen Community Association - Karen is an ethnic group - said the petition had been put together to highlight the problems in Burma and asked the council to show their support by recognising the atrocities.

“I came here as a refugee just over a year ago with my family. Over 120 of us Karen live in Sheffield,” she said.

“I am grateful for your hospitality and will always remember how the good people of Sheffield took us in.

“But we Karen people of Sheffield feel we must do something for our friends who are still suffering all those miles away and we are asking you to help us.

“Monks are not violent people and they do not take to the streets without good cause.

“You brought hope to us when you welcomed us in but now we must bring hope to those who are still in Burma where hope is fast running out - they need to know not just that the World is watching and listening but that it is on their side.”

Her speech was greeted by a standing ovation from councillors and members of the public gallery.

Coun Jan Wilson described the speech as “the most moving we have had in this chamber for some time - if not ever”.

She then went on to outline a motion on behalf of the council which condemns the violence in Burma, highlights the courage and integrity of the Burmese people and voices anger at the military regime’s lack of response to calls for the violence to stop.

Her motion also confirmed Sheffield’s link with Burma and reaffirmed the city’s pride in welcoming the refugees through the Gateway programme.

A copy of the motion, which was seconded by Lib Dem leader Paul Scriven, will be sent to the secretary of state for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs and all Sheffield MPs asking for their support in putting pressure on Burma’s rulers to restore democracy.

Every member in the chamber - from all the political parties - voted in favour of carrying the motion.

Coun Scriven said: “This issues transcends party politics and I am absolutely delighted to be able to second it - it brings us all together.”

After more rain on Friday, the weather forecast for Saturday was sunny and warm. I really wanted to get out into the Peak District; I could spend every waking moment out there if i could. Ray suggested a walk. Apart from a potter around Sherwood Forest and the gardens at Renishaw we’ve not been able to do any real hikes for over 2 years. My health - or lack of it, has stood in our way. I agreed that a walk would be great.

We were up and out early, and once on the train we studied the map. Initial plans to walk up Win Hill were dropped - i suddenly remembered how steep the ascent is to that hill. So we decided to do a walk from Hope to Mam Tor via Loose Hill, and Hollins Cross. The climb to Loose Hill was much harder than i recalled. I took some ventolin and just kept willing myself upwards. At times i thought i would have to turn back. My chest was hurting, i was breathless, my hip was complaining…but my heart and soul so wanted to get to Mam Tor. Finally we got to a plateau, i’d made the first hurdle!

The walk was easier from here on and we quickly got to Hollins Cross.

From here we could see the peak of Mam Tor, a sight i had started to wonder if i would ever see again. I have wonderful memories of walking up here like a mountain goat in one of the first walks Ray and did back in 1999. Then it had been a really easy walk and no ventolin or painkillers were required. Walking ahead of Ray this time i wiped back the odd tear - of joy and of grief. At the top we hugged. We both felt that a huge step had been taken in my recovery.

It was amazingly windy up there, if i’d let go of my coat it would have got to Castleton ahead of me. It was great to feel the elements around us as we looked at the fantastic views. We found ourselves some shelter and stopped for flapjacks and water to get us down to Castleton and a bag of chips.

I saw a movie a few years ago of the wonderful hijinks by the Yes Men in their attempt to subvert the World Bank and big business. Here is their latest campaign.

Halliburton