Stepping off the hamster wheel of life

 

Well the feeling that i was sinking got much worse this week, and i finally listened to my treatment team and took a sick certificate for two weeks. The anxiety was horrendous and i realised the hamster wheel of life was going to fast and i needed to step on to a calmer path. I feel a failure for having to give in to the low mood, the anxiety, and the eating disorder, but i have learnt from last year’s nightmare (i really don’t want to go back to where i was this time last year!).

I’m pottering and resting. Taking lessons from Bodhi and Bella (they were 1 years old yesterday) in the art of just doing good things. I’ve had time to do some crafts and i hope to finish a jumper in time for our holiday.

Thursday night i went to the Self-esteem/self-confidence class at SYEDA (South Yorkshire Eating Disorder Association).

The evening was really good. We learnt Emotional Freedom Technique (it’s amazing!) and positive affirmations (my psychologist will be pleased to hear about this), and we were given a small pack of positive affirmation cards to take away. It was hard getting the class, but i had a nice stop at the art gallery on the way and took in the excellent John Martin exhibition. http://www.museums-sheffield.org.uk/museums/millennium-gallery/exhibitions/current/john-martin-painting-the-apocalypse

I always find a certain peace in art galleries, and this was true of Thursday. Although i was rather bad and bought two books – well it supports my beloved Museum Sheffield (who have had their funding slashed).

John Martin Apocalypse Now!…

The Prometheans by Max Adams This had an interesting quote from a Bob Marley song:

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery

None but ourselves can free our minds.

Hmm, food for thought as i look for a new path away from the hamster wheel.